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Everyone LOVES Dave Ball! His endless banter of funny stories and catastrophies... (mostly his own), his cheerful little face and his razor wit.
What can we do ? A recent secret meeting in Tintern of long established,diehard locals have proposed a statue for the millenium of Dave with a paintrush in hand and a pint in the other. What do you think?
A kitty is already being collected and we are proud to announce a grand total of 3.59p at present. can you help?

This was an e-mail received by the editor from Hotlips at

Then came, also from Hotlips
26/9/99....The latest TSS (Tintern Secret Society) meeting was dominated by the subject of The Dave Ball Millenium Campaign and how we do, in fact, honour this great man!
Suggestions so far have included:-
- placing life size cardboard cutouts of David around the village in various poses, ( such as sitting down, sitting down drinking tea, sitting down talking,etc)
- an 'Interactive' Dave ball on the web site that people can chase/tickle/ click and drag all over the place and generally have fun with.
- A knighthood.
- A commemorative coin, mugs and tea towels with his head on.
- A pitch and put green in the village that Dave may frequent to sign autographs and help 'coach' surprised and delighted 'putters'.
- A statue of Dave with a pint in one hand and a paint brush in the other.
- Tintern Football kit to carry the picture of David on shirts and socks and play with a special football with his face on.

Please will all you David fans get your thoughts together now and give them to Grantley or John Bathgate to put up on the web site for everyone to share and vote on? ( if this is ok with you John and Grantley?)
Big thanks to everyone so far..look forward to your suggestions and any photo's / stories you may also be able to contribute for this great cause!

Then came
...are desperate for news and any comments re: the Dave Ball millenium campaign. the funds have soared to 10.92p and we really need to see what support there is out there to push this baby through.
can u help?
perhaps appeal on the parish news section of the site?
every minute counts here... appreciate some feedback.

Thanks muchly.

Further messages
....from ....
28/9/99 I would love to support the campaign for this tremendous fellow. I can knit, sew, paint and bake. how may I assist? (my chum can play the spoons and cello).

10/10/99 Please can you help the people of Tintern support the Dave ball fan club/millenium appeal?
The web site is perfect for an open forum on the topic and I think you'll find an active interest and input. Is there any more input, have you recieved any other mail on the subject? I'd be amazed if not! (this is it so far..ed)
Please John will you help promote this worthy cause and publish all submissions to encourage an open forum?
How about a temporary on-going noticeboard/newsgroup on site....?(this is it..ed)


....What a great idea to have a tribute to Dave Ball!
He is, after all, a legend in his own time and a worthy candidate for the 'Key to Tintern' award which would entitle him to wander freely in Tintern and be greeted with a smile, a pint and the sort of hospitality that only Kings could DREAM of!!
I'm up for it. too right. I've been doing a few odd jobs to help raise some money for his statue as well and so far I'm proud to say my petty crime has paid off to the tune of 8.22p.
Any other visitors to this site please respect the strong feeling in Tintern to make a 'show' of David and post their comments and idea to this tremendous website that promoted the freedom of speech in our precious village! (well done Ed!).x

p.s. I have attributes I would be willing to sell or auction for the mission - you just name it.


I've been reading the very interesting articles surrounding our fellow villager, David, whom I have been very fond of for many years. His delightful wife, Susan, is a saint as well and I am thrilled to see this initiative being taken. I would like to support in some way and although I can't spare any hard cash, I CAN sing and dance (albeit a little shaky on my old pins now) and I can do several tricks with cling film.

shall we do a show for him?

This came 22/11/99
I've got some"INTERESTING" photo's of this fine upstanding gent 'and chums' that someone might want for this campaign. (mind you, they weren't very 'upstanding' when the pictures were taken!)
golf. scotland. oh yes. lots of piccies. lots of people!
Perhaps an auction should take place amongst interested parties before I release them to the general public? That would fetch a fair few quid for the fund for sure!! The ones that don't get sold should be put up on the website. (I guess a few of you had better start saving then).
Anyway- I think we should spend the raised funds on a decent set of darts for the man considering the one's he got clearly don't aim straight...
Good luck with the fundraising T.S.S.
Hugh Jarce.

Finally From: Unknown
Sent: Wednesday, January 12, 2000 6:16 PM
Subject: Oh what a night!!

There was the promise of excitement, surprise and anxiety in the air when all took their places for the long awaited and planned millennium celebration to begin, upon the timely entrance of our honoured guest - YES! - DAVID.A.BALL .

8,000 WHOLE POUNDS had been raised through various means by well wishers of David from the village, (and beyond), by various means, (thank-you H.M.S ) to celebrate this great man. MANY, MANY THANKS to you all.
Could we pull it off? Was everything in place? Would the dear Susan deliver the fruits of her party, unwittingly, into the hands of his nervous audience of the T.S.S? (Tintern Secret Society). We could only wait. And wait.

The finest of Welsh fayre was served over 6 sumptuous courses prepared by one of Wales' most acclaimed chef's, with fine welsh wines served throughout.
Ale & champagne flowed, (Unlike the numerous speeches, where a few of the guest speakers had trouble with their teeth and alcohol intake, 'fix-a-dent guys'? Anyone heard of 'fix-a-dent?'), - but where WAS Dave?
Oh, well. Sure to be on the way.

"On with the show!" came the cry of the frustrated performers, who had spent several weeks sneaking around the village in stupid costumes on their way to practise, amazed that they had not been noticed from the crowd.
The cry was met with "WHY ARE WE WAITING??" and the crowd went wild, shouts of "We want Dave, We want Dave" ..and then.. SILENCE!
The clattering of spoons, rustling of under petticoats and cling film could be heard as the well versed actors assembled eagerly onto the stage.
The drum roll spilled out into the quiet air that was now filled with anticipation, with a deafening rumble. A very close act to follow came from Hugh Jarce, who filled the stage with his, lets say, very LARGE personality!! It was just spectacular! Singers, dancers, magicians, drag acts, it was all up for grabs at a price. How we laughed, loved and danced. What a night!

There were now 12 brandy and cokes on the bar for Sue and at least the same for Dave plus a few pints with his name on.... WHEN WILL HE ARRIVE?

Surely he received his invite from , well ... one of his closest friends?

The final proceeds were a mere 1.75p after costs. Still -it was worth it!!! Would David A.Ball please let himself be known to one of his devoted committee to collect the cheque and declare the most appropriate means of its investment from here-on-in.

best wishes and thank you all. T.S.S. XXX

TWO TINTERN WEDDINGS The wedding photographs of Steven Ball and Sonya Kakad, and also Andrew Phelps and Janice Jones are now available in the Autumn 1999 Edition of the Parish News.